Jeans

Jay wore jeans to field day at school.  He said he didn't care if they got messed up but he didn't want his sweat pants to get ruined. 

Is There Ever a Reason?

Owen:  Mommy, Jay farted on my wrestler for no reason!

Bridges

Me: Owen, if your brother jumped off a bridge would you jump too?
Owen:  Yes, I can swim.

Fractions

I was working with Jay on a fraction word problem.  Quinton ate 1/4 of a pizza.  Abe at 1/2.  Who ate more?  
Me: Would you rather have half a pizza or a fourth? 
Jay: a fourth, I'm not that hungry.  

What the Easter Bunny Brings Naughty Boys

Owen came into the living room breathing heavily and holding his stomach.  When I asked him what's wrong, he said he had a bad feeling he was getting bunny turds and rotten eggs for Easter.