How do you play tag with a caterpillar?

The boys brought a caterpillar home from Grandma and Grandpa's house. If I had been there it would have never have made the trip. They put it in a bug house with some leaves. I protested its presence in the house because after 4 1/2 years of raising Owen and Jay I know this will not end well. The boys went to there bedroom and the caterpillar which they named Sammy stayed in the kitchen. The boys would not go to sleep. At eleven o'clock I went into their room to tell them to get to sleep. Owen was sitting on the floor of his room in the dark holding an empty bug house. He says, "I lost Sammy." "How do you lose a caterpillar?" I ask. Owen says, "We were playing tag."

We could not find Sammy that night but he showed up the next afternoon, enticed by a fresh plate of leaves placed on the floor of the boys room.

Farkles

Owen pointing to a freckle, "Mommy look. I have a farkle."

When I Became Mean

Owen: Mommy, I want to do the monkey bars.
Me: No Owen.
Owen: Mommy you are mean.
Me: Yes Owen I am mean.
Owen: When did you become mean.
Me: When I became a mother.

Mommy, I Was Done Swinging

Two weekends ago, I decided to take the boys to the park. Jay wanted me to push him on the swing. He was having a great time on the swing. A couple of times I stopped him because I thought he wanted off but he said no he wanted to keep swinging. While the swing was at the highest point, maybe 6 feet or so from the ground he lets go and falls backwards landing on his neck/upper back with his head bent. He was in a lot of pain. He was able to move everything. He has a very low tolerance for pain so I wasn't sure whether to take him to the hospital or not. I decided it was better safe than sorry so we went with Owen coming along as well, yelling at me the whole time that I was a "bad mommy" because he wanted to stay at the park. The x-rays were clear but the doctor made us stay overnight for observation because Jay was grunting when he breathed. His breathing improved as soon as they gave him some Tylenol. They released him the next morning. The boys made a pact after that. If Owen has to go to the hospital, Jay is supposed to tell the doctors not to hurt his brother and if Jay goes to the hospital, Owen tells the doctor not to hurt his brother. I suggested they make a pact not to end up in the hospital again.

Snack Patterns

Owen says, "Mommy, I ate a popcorn then took a drink then ate a popcorn then took a drink. That's a snack pattern!"

Mommy's Know Because...

Owen asked me the other day if wrestlers were allowed to punch. I told him no but he didn't believe me. We started the "yes they do" "no they don't" exchange until I finally told him to listen to me because, "I have been on this planet a lot longer than you have." So for the rest of the day, when I answered Owen's other questions, he responded with, "You know mommy because you have been on this planet longer than me."

I Don't Speak English

I told Owen to stop playing around and get dressed. He told me, "Mommy, I don't speak English."