Shoes Part 2

On the third day of second grade, Owen cut the laces off his new shoes.  Initially he claimed that the laces came untied and he simultaneously stepped on them all and they broke off.  Then the story changed to the laces just broke off in his hands as he was trying to unknot them.  Finally, he admitted to cutting them with scissors when he could not get the knots out even with the teachers help.  

The Shoe

Owen "accidentally" kicked his shoe onto the roof of  the babysitter's neighbor's two-story home.  He says he was just walking and because the shoe was loose it flew right off his foot and landed up there.  

Boy Talk

Over heard as the boys were hurdling the arm of the couch:
Owen:  It's training for your nuts.
Jay: So you can jump over pointy fences?
Owen: Yeah.

Jeans

Jay wore jeans to field day at school.  He said he didn't care if they got messed up but he didn't want his sweat pants to get ruined. 

Is There Ever a Reason?

Owen:  Mommy, Jay farted on my wrestler for no reason!

Bridges

Me: Owen, if your brother jumped off a bridge would you jump too?
Owen:  Yes, I can swim.

Fractions

I was working with Jay on a fraction word problem.  Quinton ate 1/4 of a pizza.  Abe at 1/2.  Who ate more?  
Me: Would you rather have half a pizza or a fourth? 
Jay: a fourth, I'm not that hungry.  

What the Easter Bunny Brings Naughty Boys

Owen came into the living room breathing heavily and holding his stomach.  When I asked him what's wrong, he said he had a bad feeling he was getting bunny turds and rotten eggs for Easter. 

How to Underestimate Your Child's Potential

Me: Jay, did you draw a picture of yourself in jail?

Jay: No, it's the White House. 

What Does Being a Grandmother Mean?

Owen: You have grandchildren.
Jay: You're fat and old.

Owen's Shopping List

Jay's Bad Grade

Jay thought he had gotten a bad grade on a paper he brought home from school.  So, before anyone could see it, he quickly erased his name and wrote his brothers name on it. That was pretty clever of the boy except he didn't have to go to all that trouble.  What Jay thought was  a bad grade was actually the letters "OK!"

The Jacket

Me:  I'm going to get you a suit Owen.
Owen:  A suit with a jacket?
Me:  Yes a black suit with a jacket and pants.
Owen: Yay!
Jay:  Oh, I want a jacket too.
Me:  You want a jacket too?
Jay:  Yeah, a motorcycle one.

Scabs

Jay had scabs on his knee from a nasty case of road rash.  Both boys were sitting in the top bunk of their bunk beds when Owen crawled over Jay and brushed against his scab. Jay has zero tolerance for pain and freaks out at the sight of blood but I discovered there was another reason for his tears.  Jay says, between sobs, "Mommy, Owen took my scab and won't give it back."

Looking Out for Brother

Owen:  Mommy did you know that Jay fell and scraped his knee and candy fell out of his mouth and the only way he'll get over it is if he gets Pokemons.

Talking About Hair

Owen:  I have two people with red hair in my class.
Jay:  I have five blondies in my class.

Five Dollars

The boys each received five dollars in an Easter card from Grandma.  Owen hands me his and says, "Put mine in the bank so I have money for college."  Jay hangs on tightly to his and says, "I'm saving mine to buy a wii."

A Proposal and Marriage

Owen placed this ring on his finger and declared us married.

Attack of the Killer Moths

The boys spotted a moth in their room at bedtime and went into panic mode.  They both refused to go into their room or sleep in their own beds.  I told them a moth would not hurt them but they insisted it could fly down their throat while they were sleeping and choke them.  The moth was located and disposed of but the boys still refused to enter their room stating that there could be other bugs in there.  Nothing I said could convince them they were safe from bugs.  Jay had a complete meltdown.  I finally caved in and let them sleep in my bed.

Christmas Coal

Owen came to me before Christmas and said, "I don't really care if I'm on the naughty list. I can do anything with that coal, paint on it, play with it. The only think I want for Christmas is lots of coal so I can make a snowman."